What is true friendship according to the Bible?

"Most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." —Romans 5:7-8 (NLT)

Jesus is the greatest friend we could ever ask for, and He chose to die for us—before we were born, before we ever thought about accepting Him as our Savior and friend (Romans 5:7-8; John 15:13). When someone chooses to DIE for you, then you know that person can be called a friend.

A willingness to put someone else's needs before you own is the ultimate expression of loving friendship. When I first learned about this high standard, I was blown away. How many people would actually follow this standard?

What is biblical friendship?

While the Bible gives us this ultimate expression through Jesus, it's honestly unlikely that the day will come when God will ask you to lay down your life for a friend. So what else does the Bible tell us about friendship? Proverbs is an excellent source of wisdom for friendship in daily life.

Love is a Choice

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." —Proverbs 17:17

Love is an intentional decision, and true friendship is when we love our friends all the time—not just when it's convenient. We aren't always going to feel loving toward our friends, but we can still choose to love them. This requires a lot of grace, a willingness to forgive, and a choice to avoid bitterness. And they should do the same for us in return.

Quality Over Quantity

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." —Proverbs 18:24

While there's nothing wrong with having lots of friends and acquaintances of all kinds—no matter the gender, Christians or non-Christians—it's so essential to make sure you have a few friends of high quality. I'm talking about friends who accept you as you are, encourage and support you (1 Thessalonians 5:11), and with whom you feel like you can be yourself and who you feel safe with.

Trust & Respect

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." —Proverbs 27:6

Friendship is built on mutual trust and respect. You and your friends should be building each other up (Proverbs 27:17), honoring one another (Romans 12:10), and encouraging one another's personal and spiritual growth (Ephesians 4:29).

When a true friend talks to you about a concern or an area in which you need to grow, you know their intent is from love. If they didn't love you and value you, they wouldn't risk telling you something you didn't want to hear! Take a true friend's rebuke seriously and with humility. If they're speaking falsely or with empty words, then that isn't a true friend.

Finally, remember the friend we have in our Lord Jesus is the truest friend we'll ever have. He's there for you through all things and all the time. While He's the one who has brought your friends into your life, He shouldn't be the last one you go to with your problems. Make Him the first.

"I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me." —John 15:15 (NLT)

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