Why is finding God so difficult?

"O God, do not keep silent; be not quiet, O God, be not still." —Psalm 83:1

Many believers have struggled with finding God and felt abandoned by Him at some point in their lives. I know I have. What should we do when we can't feel God? When He seems to be quiet, does that mean He's abandoned us?

A Universal Truth

When we go through seasons of the unknown and the painful, it's important that we hold onto God's universal truths like a lifeline. One of those major truths is this: Jesus desires genuine friendship with you.

How close is your relationship with Christ? If you're not sure how to be closer to Jesus, then think about how you'd grow your relationship with a friend. What do you do? You spend time with them!

Growing Relationships

If you barely talk to your friends or family, or if you only talk to them to get through some drama, what do you think happens? The relationship is shallow, one-sided, weak, or based on nothing more than taking advantage of someone to suit your needs.

Have you ever known someone who only pretended to be your friend, but you could tell they weren't being genuine? They don't speak or act like they love you or care—even if they say they do. Think about your relationship with Jesus. Are you causing any of those red flags in your relationship with Him?

In the same way you would keep up your relationships with people, if you want to deepen your relationship with God, you need to spend time together. That means talking to Him (Philippians 4:6), reading His Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17), and following His guidance for your life (John 15:14).

People hurt. People lie. People leave. But Jesus does not. He is a faithful friend through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and we can trust Him to always be there (John 15:15; Matthew 11:28).

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." —Hebrews 13:8 (NLT)

Jesus' friends know His voice.

"The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice." —John 10:3-4 (NLT)

When you were a little kid, hopefully you recognized your mom's voice when she called you from across the park. When you talk to a friend a lot, you start to recognize their voice from down the hall. Being a good friend to Jesus and talking to Him regularly makes us more familiar with His voice too (John 10:2-5).

Jesus is our good shepherd, meaning He's our protector and caretaker. As His sheep, the closer we get to Jesus in the daylight, the more likely we'll hear His safe voice calling when the wolves threaten us in the night.

Jesus is with us in the darkness.

"[Jesus] understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin." —Hebrews 4:15 (NLT)

The Bible tells us that Jesus understands our struggles and knows what it's like to feel alone in the darkness. He outright told His disciples that life wasn't going to be easy but to set aside their anxiety and trust Him (John 16:33; Matthew 6:25-34). Be assured that God is with you and will refine you in ways you can't even imagine (1 Peter 1:6-7).

James 1:2-4 talks about how we ought to be thankful for those struggles because they help us grow and mature as people and in our faith. I know it's hard to be grateful about hard challenges, temptations, or unfair circumstances. But having a godly perspective can often help you get through some really awful things.

Looking back on when I've perceived quietness from the Lord, I now understand why it happened. Feeling alone in the dark pushed me into a deeper surrender to God. It made me miss Jesus. It made me desire His friendship. And when I realized He was there all along, that was true joy. If God had not allowed me to get very uncomfortable, I would not have developed a longing in my heart for something better.

Seek a Deeper Surrender

"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." —Galatians 2:20 (NLT)

I still struggle. We all will. In the times I feel far from God, more and more often, I find myself turning back to Him with even more determination. Cold water always tastes sweeter when you've been through the desert, and your throat is parched. Could God be calling you to a deeper surrender now? Is He pushing you to desire Him, all of Him—no matter what may come?

God communicates to us through the Bible, and His loving words can bring great comfort if we would just allow Him into our hearts. When you read the Bible, don't read it like a textbook. Let it sink in and transform you (Romans 12:2). I like to write out passages to help me slow down and really meditate on His Words.

Remember God's Presence

Do you ever look back at old pictures and grin as you reminisce about the good times? We can do that with God too. Never forget the truths that God has shown you already. During troubled times, remind yourself of what good He has done in your life. The author of Psalm 77 brings his hurt and feelings of rejection to the Lord, but notice that he doesn't continue wallowing in his sorrow. He instead focuses on God's character in worship (Psalm 77:11-14).

Be honest with God about your pain. Scream at Him if you need to. He can handle your heart and will handle it with grace and gentleness. But don't stay there—remember what God has done for you before. Some of your deepest moments of connection with God may come during dark times.

It's OK to tell God, "I hate this situation, but I know You're good, and You're my God. You know what the outcome will be. I trust You because You love me" (Hebrews 13:5; Matthew 28:20; Philippians 1:6). Our feelings are fickle, but God is not. God will always love you, be with you, forgive you, and will always always want the best for you—no matter how far from Him you may feel.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." —Joshua 1:9

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