“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Have you ever had a beloved pet die? Or gone through a difficult break up? Or experienced a traumatic event? Was there a time when your emotions plunged you into a deep sorrow?
It's completely human to feel sadness after these kinds of events (Psalm 90:10). We've probably all walked through extended periods of sadness, and it can be really awful.
Emotions Aren't Sinful
Feelings of sadness are not sinful. David often felt abandoned by God in his sorrow (Psalm 13). Jesus felt sadness at the death of His friend Lazarus—and He even knew He was going to bring Lazarus back from the dead (John 11)! Jesus was referred to as a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3). His life was filled with the kind of grief no one can truly comprehend.
Emotions are tools that help us relate to and interpret our world. A quick perusal of Psalms shows that God's people feel all sorts of emotions! Emotions are a normal part of being human, but they can cause us some problems if we aren't careful to control our responses to them. Uncontrolled emotions can lead to depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts.
If you recognize that your feelings of sadness are causing changes in your sleep pattern (too much or too little sleep), affecting your appetite, producing pervasive feelings of despair or hopelessness, or you are having thoughts of death or suicide, then you're experiencing more than just temporary sadness. Those can be symptoms of a mental health issue. Talk to a trusted adult who can help you access help for addressing and managing what might be clinical depression.
Surviving Sadness: Ask for Help
“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”
Regardless of whether you're clinically depressed, grieving, or overwhelmed with sorrow for a day, seek a community of believers who will walk with you. Friends, especially other believers, can be a tremendous support when we feel down.
Sometimes we get mired in sadness, and we just need a hand to climb out of the pit. That's OK! Some of us might find we have more serious mental health concerns, and that's OK too. Many of us have been there.
Surviving Sadness: God's Word
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
Jesus came so that we can live a joyful, abundant life (John 10:10), so an existence of continual sorrow and suffering is not God's plan for you. God is the truest friend we'll ever have, and He wants to help us.
Growing in your knowledge and love of God through reading His Word is a great way to strengthen your relationship with Him and let Him walk with you through the dark valleys (Psalm 23:4; 1 Peter 1:3-6). Even when you don't feel like it, make sure you're turning to the Bible. If you don't know where to start, consider reading through the Psalms.
Ironically, many of the Psalms talk about real despair, sadness, depression, regret, and pain, but I'm personally encouraged to know that I'm not the only one! The psalmists almost always find their way back to hope and faith in God. Psalm 42, Psalm 73, Psalm 51, and Psalm 34 are good places to start.
Whether it's a physical book, an app, or an audio version, set up a daily routine to read the Bible. Try setting an alarm and have a plan. Make it simple and easy.
Surviving Sadness: Talk to God
“The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right;his ears are open to their cries for help.”
Prayer is another way to maintain a connection with God. Writing out my prayers is the surest way for me to get to the heart of what I'm feeling or what I fear. I also like to go back through my written prayers to remind myself that God answered every single one of them. His answer was maybe not what I expected or wanted, but He always answers His perfect way and perfect timing (Psalm 34:15).
Surviving Sadness: Guard Your Thoughts
“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Emotions can influence our thoughts, which can influence our actions, sometimes leading us to sinful pursuits or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Often, we believe that we have no control over our thoughts or emotions. But the Bible says that it's possible to train ourselves to take our thoughts captive (Corinthians 10:5).
If we find ourselves thinking, "God never answers my prayers," we can use God's Word and stop that thought in its tracks. Instead, we can remind ourselves of the truth: "God does hear my prayers. He may not be answering in the way I want, but I can trust that He wants what's best for me because He loves me" (Psalm 66:19; Romans 8:28).
When we take our thoughts captive and make them align to God's Word, we remind ourselves of God's love and provision for us, which ends up increasing our hope and faith.
Emotions = Fickle. God's Word = Unchanging.
“Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
We can maintain strong faith in God and hold even more tightly to Him when we undergo tough times (1 Peter 5:6-10). Feeling sad or depressed is not a sin, but we are accountable for our response to the affliction—like reaching out to caring loved ones or even seeking professional help if needed.
While walking through this season of sadness, connect with God as if He's extended this time as an invitation to draw closer to Him (Romans 5:3-5). This season of sadness can be a precious one of tremendous growth in your faith (James 1:2-4). Be encouraged that God does not waste any opportunity to build us up for the plans and purpose He has for our lives. He loves and cares for you so much.
“We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”