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What does the Bible say about flirting? Is flirting a sin?

The Bible doesn't actually mention flirting, but it does give us principles about how we should act toward one another and we can use those for a comparison. What flirting comes down to, in a nutshell, is to behave in such a way to attract another person but without serious intent to pursue them or only pursue with sinful intentions.

When it comes to our attractions to other people, sometimes we can't help it. While it is not a sin to be attracted to another person, how we RESPOND to those attractions may lead us into sin. As believers, we should check our motivations before emotions get us flirting carelessly with some unsuspecting person (Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 6:25). The purpose for flirting is rarely one with godly intentions.

You know how they say you'll attract those who act way you act? If you're being flirty, you may only attract more flirtiness, and while it may be fun at first, it is likely to lead to, at best, hurt feelings, or at worst, emptiness and brokenness (Proverbs 14:12-13). Thoughtless romantic interactions with people are wholly unsatisfying in the end. God wants so much more for our hearts.

For the Christian, the pursuit of a person you are attracted to should be backed with serious, pure intentions (1 Corinthians 6:15-16). Lustful thoughts should be avoided absolutely (Matthew 5:28-29). Sexual behaviors should be abstained from until after marriage and only done with the person you are married to (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If possible, try to avoid places that provide the temptation to flirt if that's a problem for you. After all, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

Alternatives to Flirting

Instead of carelessly flirting, leading someone on with our attentions and affections, we should act in a way worthy of our Lord. If we follow Jesus' example, when we interact with other people, we'll show them kindness, compassion, grace, and respect (Galatians 5:22-23). Through these actions, we develop closer friendships, learn more about individuals, and discover how to love them unconditionally. Those actions lead to meaningful relationships with our friends and family and, ultimately, your future spouse, if marriage is part of God's will for you.

The Bible gives us some excellent advice on how we treat others, which translates into advice on dating. 412teens has a whole list of articles that explain what the Bible can teach us about dating relationships. Flirting is temporary, meaningless pleasure. Instead, obey the Lord and receive His blessing on your life and relationships. In any romantic pursuit, God should be central and one whom you actively take along with you; He is the one who can guide you the best and who knows your future (John 15:5; Isaiah 46:9-10).

Remember, you are the child of the Creator of the Universe. As such, you have a responsibility to let the world see His light through your words and actions. If you're struggling with flirting or lustful thoughts, pray for God to help you overcome that every single time. God will be listening to you, and He is always willing to answer our prayers when it comes to the battle against sin. May you win victoriously.

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." —Ephesians 5:1-2

TL;DR

Whatever we say and however we act should be pleasing and reflective of God's will for our lives. Flirting carelessly may cause harm to yourself or others (Matthew 18:7) and does not reflect God's love. Strive to grow in your relationship with Christ first (1 Corinthians 10:31) before attempting to attract another person to pursue romantically. When you get to the point of readiness for serious romantic pursuit, keep God in the forefront; He is the one who can guide you the best and who knows your future (John 15:5; Isaiah 46:9-10).

By: Stephanie

Stephanie is a 21-year old with a passion to see believers grow and become passionate in their relationship with the Lord. She is a lover of sweat tea, sunshine, and the freedom that comes from Christ. In her free time, she can be found singing, playing guitar, writing or jamming out to Hawk Nelson, Phil Wickham, and worship music. Her dreams are to become a worship leader and a published author, while living a life full of fun and joy that comes from the Lord.

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